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Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Therapy that goes deeper.
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
Most of us have had the experience of feeling pulled in different directions. Part of you wants to speak up, part of you wants to stay quiet. Part of you knows you should rest, another part can't stop working. This isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's actually just how the mind works.
Internal Family Systems is a therapy built on this understanding. Rather than trying to silence or fix the parts of you that cause trouble, IFS gets curious about them. Every part, even the ones you'd rather not have, developed for a reason. They were trying to protect you. And when you start to understand them that way, something shifts.
At the heart of IFS is the belief that beneath all these parts, there is a Self. Calm, clear, compassionate and capable of leading. The work of IFS is essentially about helping you access that Self more often, so that your parts no longer have to work so hard.
The theory behind Internal
Family Systems Therapy
IFS is built on the understanding that we are not one single, unified self. We are made up of many parts, and those parts interact with each other in ways that can either help us or hold us back. When we understand those patterns, we can begin to move through life in a way that is driven by our values rather than our fears.
Here is what that looks like in real life.
Imagine someone who struggles with social anxiety but is also desperate to see Harry Styles live. Part of them feels the excitement, already imagining being in that room, feeling every note. Another part shuts the whole idea down before they've even looked at ticket prices. These two parts are in conflict, and that conflict can reinforce the anxiety rather than resolve it.
In IFS therapy, rather than trying to override the anxious part or push through it, we get curious about it. What is it protecting? Perhaps it learned a long time ago that being in crowds felt unsafe, or that drawing attention to yourself had consequences. Maybe it is carrying an old belief that something will go wrong, that you will be too much, or not enough. When we ask these questions with genuine curiosity rather than frustration, the part usually has a lot to say. When it feels heard, it doesn't need to work so hard. That is when the whole system starts to settle, and the part that wanted to be in that room feeling every note finally gets a chance to breathe.
What does an IFS session actually look like?
Every session is different, but here is a general sense of how the work unfolds over time.
1. Introducing the concept of parts We start by introducing the idea of parts and what that actually means. From there we look at what is bringing you to therapy, what you have been struggling with, and begin to notice which parts are showing up and coming forward in your life right now.
2. Mapping your parts We then start to identify each part more clearly. We might give it a name, and we explore its role and function within your internal system. Parts can show up in all kinds of ways, as feelings, physical sensations, images, or a familiar inner voice. We get curious about each one and start to understand what it is carrying and why.
3. Developing a relationship with each part Rather than pushing parts away or trying to change them, we turn toward them. We listen to their concerns, acknowledge what they have been through, and begin to accept each part's unique perspective. This is where something often starts to soften.
4. Finding the Self We begin to help you notice the difference between being swept up in a part and accessing Self. That calmer, clearer place within you that can hold your parts with compassion rather than being overwhelmed by them.
5. Working with the wounded parts With Self present, we can gently approach the parts that carry the deeper pain. The ones that have been hidden away for a long time. These parts most need to be seen, and when they finally are, real healing becomes possible.
6. Integration As the work deepens, parts no longer need to play such extreme roles. The whole internal system becomes more settled, more cooperative, and more you.
Who can benefit from IFS?
Basically, if any of the below resonate, it's for you.
People carrying trauma If you have been through experiences that left a mark, IFS offers a gentle and effective way to work with the parts of you that were wounded. You don't need to retell your story in detail. You just need to be willing to get curious about what you are still carrying.
People struggling with anxiety or depression Anxiety and depression are rarely just feelings. They are often parts. IFS helps you understand what those parts are responding to, what they are protecting, and what they need in order to finally settle.
People who find relationships hard Whether it is conflict, intimacy, communication, or a pattern that keeps repeating, IFS can help you understand which parts of you are showing up in your relationships and why. Often this changes everything.
People navigating addiction or difficult habits Rather than shaming the parts of you that reach for something unhelpful, IFS helps you understand what they are trying to do for you. That understanding is the beginning of real change.
People who are neurodivergent Many autistic and ADHD people find IFS particularly useful because it works with how your mind actually is rather than trying to change it. Parts work can help make sense of the internal experience of masking, burnout, and the exhaustion of navigating a world not built for your nervous system.
People who feel like they have lost themselves Motherhood, caregiving, long term relationships, burnout. Sometimes people arrive in therapy not sure who they are anymore outside of the roles they play. IFS is particularly good at helping people reconnect with a sense of Self that feels genuinely theirs.
People who have tried therapy before and felt like it only went so far If you have done talk therapy and found it helpful to a point but feel like something deeper hasn't shifted, IFS often reaches what conversation alone cannot.
People seeking personal growth and self discovery You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from IFS. Many people come simply because they want a richer relationship with themselves. More clarity, more compassion, more of a sense of who they actually are beneath all the noise.
Your next chapter starts here
You don’t have to keep carrying this alone. If you’re ready to go deeper, heal what’s been holding you back and finally feel like yourself again - I’d be honoured to be part of your journey.